"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do"- Joe Walsh, "Life's Been Good"

Hoooooooooooookay.

Hello all, it's been a while since I've put up a rant... but in all honesty, I've been spared things to rant about.

Of course, that situation was bound to turn itself around...

I recently went to see a show. (Rocky Horror Picture Show, naturally) It was out of state, and those who know what show it was know... I'm not about to cause the cast FURTHER embarassment by mentioning which one it was.

At any rate, it was the final show for a cast that had been in a theater for a good long while (we're talking 20 plus years, here.) and naturally, the excitement was pretty high among the crowd. There were several folks there from out of state to wish the cast good luck in finding a new theater and seeing the old show off.

It was said there were to be pre-shows, which I suppose there KIND OF were... but the rant has little to do with the show itself. It has more to do with the cast, the audience, and fucking MORONS.

Before the show, the cast stated- to the already rather rowdy audience, that there were no rules. Only "guidelines". They further stated to tear the theater down.

Well, needless to say, you get a whole bunch of folks into a little room and rile them up like that, and crap's gonna happen.

And it did. There was no restriction in props, so everything was EVERYWHERE.... it's been a long long time since I actually saw a white theater floor. The room was largely standing room only, as other had decided to dismantle the seats long before any of us got in there. I ruined a good pair of trousers (vinyl, g'dammit) and Arthur had to sit sideways the entire night to avoid a large spring pounding it's way through his rectum.

Seating disadvantages aside, things began to get bad with the lobbing of toilet paper.

Note to anyone in future who is in a theater which allows rolls... lob it UP... so the tail extends and creates a "streamer" effect. Not only does this look way cool as a shadow against the screen, it also HURTS LESS if your roll should happen to smack someone in the head. DO NOT whip the rolls at cast/fellow audience members, and Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, don't play target practice with the ceiling tiles.

Of course, these people did all the wrong things. A ceiling tile was threatening to fall after being dislodged by a few rolls and then AIMED at by an unscrupulous few who thought it funny to do so.

Hate to break it to you, but those babies are all varieties of heavy. They're specifically built to enhance the acoustic experience of the theater... not to be soft and comfy should they accidentally land in your lap.

I haven't even begun to get to the fun part.. for all those of you who are shaking your heads in disgust at the mindless actions of others.

As the film was nearing an end... the CAST ITSELF began to destroy the place by tearing down the lower portion of wood which covered the screen. Well, this was all the waiting audience needed to see, and we began to hear thumping sounds from where we sat.

Upon inspection it was the audience jumping up and down on their seats in a sincere effort to break them. Others had latched themselves onto the sound system to yank the speakers off the walls. Still another group was hanging off the "exit" sign to remove it.

We decided to exit the scene. I watched from the doors as Arthur took a quick trip to the bathroom, and saw one of the large speakers being flung, and the unmistakable "cracking" sound of something else invariably being broken.

The boys in blue arrived as we were retreating out of the parking lot. Thankfully, no one was arrested and things were brought under control... but the simple fact is that there never should have been any need.

Any cast that wants a theater to consider showing Rocky must be convinced that it will be good business to do so. And newspaper articles about "Rocky ending in riot" as this one has... even though the cast was not BLAMED for the melee (as I believe they should have been, and I hate to say so) it won't matter a damn.

They won't even bother reading the article... because it doesn't matter who is to blame for such occurences, no theater manager in ANY mind... right or not, is going to want to risk such a thing happening in their venue.

They want to make money, not bail.

Now, the cast may swear up and down they did not incite. Others may even believe them, but this is again besides the point at hand. Word travels. In California, a person who owned a theater was charged with a great number of things, including some offenses with a minor.

I don't know the full outcome of those charges. What I do know is that this person did this at Rocky. There were news articles, and particularly with the ability of the internet to find anything at the typing of a few key words and the push of a button... these things get around.

I was even informed by a friend who is on a Midwestern cast that he was personally asked about the cast's interaction with minors as a result of this incident, and was fairly strongly grilled.

We don't need this sort of publicity, we really don't. Speaking as a member of a currently homeless cast... these things hurt.

UA refuses to show Rocky Horror. Why? A lawsuit, years and years ago brought on by an idiot on cast with a vacuum cleaner attachment.

Bad press sticks to you worse than light colored lint on black velvet.

So if you're in a show, and your theater has to close it's doors... or even just get rid of you... please remember to still maintain the utmost respect for them. They kept you for as long as they did... which I can tell you is more than most people are doing.

There's more people in Rocky Horror than just you. Your actions affect us all, and many of us end up answering for your moments of stupidity when we're miles and miles away. And if it means that much, and you want to continue doing it elsewhere, show prospective theaters how much respect you have for their position by not taking the "eh, well it's our last night anyway" attitude.