VROOOOM!

There it was again... and it was getting closer. Buddy awoke drowsily. Harry peeked out of the windows of the office to get a better look.

A man on a motorcycle was zooming through the floor of the studios. He wore a leather vest, and a black t-shirt with the word "Eddie" written across the front. There was a slingshot hanging from his neck. he parked the bike outside the office and began to pick the lock.

"Just wait a minute!" Mr. Hapschatt shouted as he stormed out of the next office over. "Just who the hell do you think you are."

"Oh, shaddap, Hapschatt" Eddie snorted as the doorknob clicked against his hand. He opened it and smiled down at Harry. "Happy Birthday, Harry"

Harry couldn't help but smile, though he was very confused. "Thank you... but... who..."

"You're not wanted here!" Mr. Hapschatt broke in suddenly, thrusting himself between Eddie and the door. "We want nothing to do with your sort"

Eddie rolled his eyes and clenched his fist. The word 'hate' was sprawled across his knuckles in a homemade tattoo. He belted him in the mouth, sending him toppling toward the back of the office. Mrs. Hapschatt and Buddy gasped, running to him.

"I haven't seen you since you were just a baby, Harry. You look great. Just like your dad."

"Brad Majors..." Harry said softly.

"No, Harry... your real dad." and he stepped into the office, plopping into a chair.

"My... what?" he asked, inching closer to him. He noticed a scar running the length of his forehead, as though someone had gone into his head.

Mr. Hapschatt spit some blood on the floor. "I forbid you to tell him anything!" he shouted.

"Oh, don't make me kick your sorry ass, you loser" Eddie huffed, winging a paperweight over toward them. "You should have told him long ago."

"Told me what?" Harry asked.

Mr. Hapschatt had just dodged the paperweight, but it managed to clip Buddy in the ass, which made Eddie grin widely. Mr. Hapschatt cleared his throat, screwing up his courage. "I forbid you!" he managed, though it was more of a squeak than a statement. Eddie merely stared, and they shrunk back to the wall.

"Harry... you ever feel like you don't belong? Like you're... different than everyone here?" Eddie watched him carefully.

Harry thought a moment. He often found that people... strange people... knew him wherever he went. He'd even had a few of them offering some strange salute when he passed by. "I... don't know...." he said, chewing his lip.

"You never wondered about it? About your real father? Who he was?"

"Who was he?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side.

"You don't know anything, do you?" Eddie asked, sparing a moment to growl at the Hapschatts. "I'm probably not the best person to tell you this, Harry... but someone's got to. Harry... you're an alien."

"I'm a what???"

"An alien. A Transylvanian, actually... and the heir to the throne."

"No... " said Harry, his brow twisting upward. "My parents were killed in a house fire."

"A WHAT? Harry... your parents... were killed. Murdered." Eddie turned to the Hapschatts again "Mumblemore gave you a letter when we left him, I saw it!."

"You knew?" he asked, turning too. "You told me a lie about my family??"

"Of course we knew!" shrieked Mrs. Hapschatt. "How could we not have known? One day Janet was just the best girl around, in all the clubs at school, and then she went off with Brad on some stupid car ride. They ended up in a castle where who-knows-WHAT went on, and then got pregnant with you! And they were strange after that, let me tell you... and I knew you would be the same way! Just as strange and useless as they were!" she took a great breath of air in, it seemed she had been wanting to get this off her chest for some time. "And then they go and get themselves killed by some crazy alien... serves them right... and WE got saddled with you!"

Harry didn't know what to say. He looked back to Eddie.

"I believe this is yours" said Eddie, pulling a black envelope from his pocket and handing it over.

Mr. Harry Majors
Office 312, The Floor
DTV Studios
Denton, USA 04711

Harry held the envelope for a moment, and with a quick glance to the Hapschatts, opened it and began to read.

The ink seemed to twinkle merrily on the black paper, and he looked back to Eddie before reading it again aloud.

"You are not going. When we took you in we promised we'd put a stop to all that decadence" said Mr. Hapschatt, who had gone quite red in the face.

Eddie stood up slowly and began to walk over. "And... I suppose... you're going to stop him??" he asked with a grin. "I'd love to see you try." and he cracked his knuckles mencaingly. Mr. Hapschatt merely whimpered and shrunk again to the wall. Eddie sauntered back over toward Harry, reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out a small red box. He opened it, pressed a few buttons and spoke, facing a small camera in it's face. "I've given Harry his letter sir, we'll be on our way soon. Out" and he clicked it closed again and tucked it back to his pocket. "We'll go first thing in the morning to get your things, Harry..." he said as he presented him with a small birthday cake. "Made it myself. I'd get comfy though....before you eat it. Might be a bit strong."

Harry took the birthday cake with a smile and began to nibble on it. In minutes, he was having some of the best dreams he ever experienced.

HOME