"Everybody out! Don't worry about the luggage, it'll be taken in for you!" Porters cried up and down the halls that were quickly filling with children filing their way out of the house.
Harry and Don headed out the doors together. Harry gasped as the stepped off the steps of the porch... he'd never seen ANYTHING like this before. The sky was pitch black, and the ground, also black had a strange glow to it.
"First years! First years over here!!" It was Eddie's voice that broke through Harry's amazement, and he was more than happy to hear it. He and Don headed for him. "Hello there, Harry. Glad to see you made it." Eddie ruffled his hair and began to guide the group toward a dirt road, where several strange looking cars sat. They were nearly all black, and Harry had the distinct feeling he was beginning to notice a pattern. There was a sleek silver line going down the sides of each car, and they hovered slightly just above ground with a little hum.
"Ever'ybody aboard!" hollared Eddie, climbing into the nearest with Harry. Harry was glad for this... it seemed he was the only person around who didn't know what these were or how to use them, save Harmony who looked just as lost as he did with Orville... who had found his lizard and was now clutching it protectively to his chest.
"Soon now..." Eddie said "Ye'll get yer first view of the Academy. Just through these trees here." and as soon as he had said that, all necks craned to try and stretch past the dark, overhanging trees that obstructed their view.
Harry heard gasps, and it wasn't long before he was joining his classmates in wonder. The Academy was a huge castle, with grand towers that streaked into the night sky. It's black surface looked to be onyx or some similar sort of substance and it glistened in many colors, depending on which way you looked at it. Scattered dots of light shone through the massive structure at odd intervals, and it looked both imposing and inviting at the same time.
As they parked the cars and began to line up at the large doors, Harry felt a sudden lurch in his stomach. What if they had made a mistake? What if he had done all he could to get here, and now he'd simply... be sent home? He leaned on Eddie for support.
He did take some small comfort in seeing the other children. It seemed all of them were just as nervous as he... even Flamboy who shifted from one foot to another repeatedly while trying to appear calm, Crabs and Boil chewing their lips behind him.
The great doors swung inward slowly, presenting a rather stern, but stylishly clad woman- all black, of course. Eddie slipped through the small crowd. "The first years, Professor." and he turned to smile and present the class.
"Thank you, Eddie. I'll take them from here" she nodded toward him, and he retreated back over the lawn. "If you'll follow me, please." and with a quick turn of her heel, she led the class inward. They were a silent bunch for the most part, but some "oohs" and "ahhs" did escape the ranks, and Harry could easily see why. The ceiling was the highest he'd ever seen, and if the outside of the castle was a wonder, the inside was ten times that. Everything seemed to shine and call to itself to be touched. Harry felt if he'd had years in this place he'd never grow tired of exploring it.
The class was quite struck with awe. And they would have remained that way, had numerous water bombs not been dropped on their heads. The effect was staggering. One moment in awe, the next children were running everywhere seeking cover. A loud belch sounded overhead.
"Poof!" Belted Uponagal. "Leave the children alone!"
Harry peeked out from beneath the table he'd scrambled under to see what he guessed to be a ghost of some sort, hovering over where the class once stood. He was dressed very strangely... in a sort of hybrid mix between Cher and Elton John. "Not doin' nothin" he replied, diving in between children haphazardly. "Sayin hi, I am".
"Hello." Uponagal's voice was short and her lips were tightly pursed. "Now go."
"No fun a'tall." the ghost mumbled and threw his sequined hat at Orville, which promptly blew up in his face. Orville jumped out of instinct and smacked his head against the bottom of the table.
"Now then. As you were."
Little more needed to be said, and once again the children regrouped themselves.
"Welcome to the Academy" she began, and her eyes trailed toward Harry. He couldn't have been sure, but he thought he noted a hint of a smile on her face. It looked quite attractive. "Your first night here will begin with a banquet in honor of the new year. But first, you will be sorted into your houses. Houses at the Academy are your family. You will eat, sleep, and learn with them. Follow me."
The class followed her through the imposing hall, and Harry was pleased to see Don had found him. "You nervous?" he asked, and by the way he played with the hem of his shirt Harry could tell Don was.
"A little... what do we have to do?"
"I don't know. My brothers told me a lot of horror stories....." and he bit his lip.
All the other students sat at one of four tables. Harry looked around the room and saw each table flanked by a corresponding flag bearing a seal of each house. He couldn't help but notice the table whose name was Simpering seemed to be a rather nasty looking bunch.
His eyes eventually looked forward to see if he could figure out the sorting, as the rest of the eyes in the room did as well. There, on a large platform stood a strange red machine. Harry noticed one of the levers as a larger version of the medusa machines. And next to the machine, was a large pair of.... lips?
He found his head tilting in confusion as he watched this very much alive, but equally disembodied facial feature. It... they.... must have been tall as any of them if it was an inch. This would have been disconcerting enough, but after a long moment of stunned silence... the lips began to sing:
Oh, you may think I'm strange
to talk and sing with no face
But don't you judge by what you see
You'll get no lip service in this place.
You can have your soothsayers,
Your sycophants and fans
But I'm the Transylvanian sorter
And none can do what I can.
There's nothing inside of you
That I cannot grab hold of
So come on up and have a try
And we'll see what you're made of.
You just might be a Grabmemore
Where dwell the truly blessed
In all activities and darkened rooms
Grabmemores are best.
Or you may be a HuffandPuff
Where they are energetic
Those rowdy Huffandpuffs will do
All they can to get it.
Or maybe you're a Raveandclaw
If you've something to find
Where those of smooth persuasion
Matter more than they mind.
Or perhaps in Simpering
You'll find what you need
Those sly means and quick tongues
Are best put there, indeed.
So come to me, don't be put off
Don't be a bunch of drips
It's time to let the sorting start
Start by putting on the lips!
The ballroom immediately broke into loud hoots and hollars at the conclusion of the lips' song. It managed odd sorts of bows toward each table and then fell silent again.
Professor Uponagal strode to the right side of the platform and took out a long list. "when I call your name..." she began, piercing eyes gazing over the rims of her glasses "you will come up to the platform and await your sorting."
"So that's it!" Don grumbled. "I'll kill my brothers. They were saying you had to mud wrestle nude with a rhinoceros."
Harry found himself to be quite relieved as well, this would be far easier than having to do something with the medusa... or prove somehow that you were really an alien. He didn't feel particularly out of this world at the moment. He thought it was unfortunate that the lips hadn't mentioned a House for people who were prone to have an accident at any given moment. He'd have fit right in at this point in time.
"Adams, Anthony"
The young boy stepped up to the plat form and was zapped away. In a second, he sat at the RaveandClaw table, being patted on the back and welcomed in rounds of applause by his house members.
"Bullwhip, Malignant"
A foul looking girl stepped up, and in the blink of an eye was celebrating her acceptance into Simpering.
The names went on and on. 'Clayton, Wilson' was put into HuffandPuff, and Harry watched the room and the Houses congratulating their new members as they appeared. He noticed it sometimes took people longer to zap in place than others... with 'Comden, Bracken' it took nearly two minutes before he finally appeared sitting at the RaveandClaw table looking bewildered. Harry began to grow worried again. What if the lips would say it was all a mistake and he would be zapped right back to Number 69? He would have dwelt on the thought longer, but he heard
"Danger, Harmony"
Harry looked up again. Harmony ran up so quickly that she nearly bowled over Professor Uponagal in her excitement. Within a moment she sat with the Grabmemores, being congratulated by- Harry guessed by the hair color- one of Don's brothers.
The names continued in a blur, and the next one he noticed was
"Flamboy, Malcolm"
Flamboy swaggered up arrogantly to the platform and had barely trod upon it when he was zapped to the Simpering house. He sat nudging elbows and smirking with Crabs and Boil who also sat there.
Harry frowned and took to watching the members of the houses congratulating their new members. He was so taken in this activity that he barely noticed when his name had been called.
"Furter... Harry?"
Harry swallowed and stepped forward. If he had thought the lips looked out of place while standing back in line, he was not at all ready for the way they looked up close. They seemed to smirk and look him over (if that was possible) as he approached the platform. He stood lightly in place and swallowed. The sensation was growing familiar... he knew he was disappearing like all the others had before him. it still managed to unsettle him.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" a voice came, and it seemed to be from nowhere, but Harry recognized it as the voice that had belonged to the lips. "Let's see now... flamboyancy, yes... my, my, a good deal of it here. And charm, so much charm... you could be so smooth. Where to go, where to go..."
Harry tensed and felt himself flinch.
Please.... he thought quietly... not simpering, anywhere but there....
"Not Simpering?" came the reply that he wasn't expecting at all. "Oh, but my boy... my dear boy... you could do SO much there. It's all within you, boy... it's all here."
Please... anywhere but there. Not simpering.
"Well..... if you're sure.... then it must be..."
And another lurch of his stomach told him he'd reappeared. He opened his eyes slowly to see he was being congratulated on all sides by the GrabmeMores... the Wheezy brothers were particularly happy, chanting "We got Furter! We got Furter!" over and over again. Relieved, Harry smiled and shook hands all around and continued to watch the sorting. It wasn't long before Don made his way to the platform and found himself sitting next to Harry, who joined the rest in congratulating him.
For the first time, Harry's eyes trailed over the table at the head of the room where the teachers sat. He noticed Uponagall, sitting very upright and looking strict on one end, Eddie flanked the other side and was joking around with a small, rotund woman wearing a tuxedo. In the middle of the table sat Phallus Mumblemore, the Headmaster, whom he'd noticed from his trading card. To his right sat Farley Flavors, whom he'd met at Secksu Alley while getting his things. He seemed to be somewhat nervous... quite a far cry from the flashy smile he'd seen in the pub, and he could see why. He was chatting with a rather unpleasant looking man, wearing all black (as most were) with thinning blond hair that was tied in a tight ponytail. There was something about him Harry didn't like at all, and he found himself watching him closely, until he looked directly at Harry, whose vision blurred.
"What was that?" asked Don, shaking his shoulder.
"What?" Harry asked, bewildered... he noticed his head was throbbing heavily.
"You went... all funny for a minute."
"Oh.. I must be excited...." he swallowed and looked to the front again, happy to see that Mumblemore was about to get up and give a speech.
