(big time disclaimer: this story was written by me. I claim no rights to any of the characters and/or occurrences in it, apart from it being a fanciful notion. in other words: It's just for fun, guys.)
Riff-Raff awoke late in the morning, trudging himself slowly out of the corner in which he'd been sleeping. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed the sleeping form of his sister.
"Get up" he said, nudging her with his leg. "Before the master...." he choked on the word as he spoke, irate that the two of them had been sent along on this 'mission'. Clearing his throat, he continued. "Before the Master n.."
"Riff-Raff!" Frank's voice ripped through the pink tile of the near empty laboratory.
".......needs something." A sneer curled his lip as he kicked her again. "Get up."
Magenta stirred, a look of distaste filling her darkened eyes.
Riff walked up the incline of the laboratory. "Coming Mast..." he stopped at the door, face to face with Frank.
"Where is that Delivery boy? I thought I told you to call him for our, err....package. I have a party to throw and YOU" he poked Riff in the shoulder as he spoke "are NO help at all."
"I DID call him." Riff retorted through clenched teeth.
"Well. He'd better get here. And soon. See to it."
"I will."
"Good. Magenta!" he howled, seeing her still slumped on the floor "Go and get my jacket. I'm going to go on a little....excursion".
Riff walked with haste down the dark hallway, stopping to smash a fist into a nearby wall. A light spray of red puffed out as he did so, his face twisting as he felt the pain. Reaching into his breast pocket, he wiped the blood with his rag. "How much can one take, I ask you?" he mumbled to himself as he stuffed the rag back into his pocket.
As he walked he found himself slowing to a stop at a closed door. Opening it slowly, almost with reverence, he peeked inside the hall closet. There, hung neatly on the wall were two spacesuits, their gold material beckoning to him. "Earthlings have no idea how to dress" he mused, reaching out to touch his suit.
The quick footsteps came down the hall, ringing loudly in Riff's ears. Closing the door immediately, he hurried on his way.
"I'm going out." Frank announced as he passed.
Riff answered with a disinterested nod and continued toward the phone.
Frank spun past him and out toward the door, as Riff reached the phone that hung on the wall. Taking the reciever from the cradle, he rested it between his shoulder and head, reaching into his pocket for the crumpled piece of paper that contained what he was looking for.
As the numbers were dialed slowly, the resounding clicks from the rotary phone supplied a beat, and Riff sang a little tune beneath his breath that went something like this:
I've been hung up, strung up, on the line
But soon enough I'll get what's mine
Just waiting for the perfect sign, in timeThe phone began to ring.
He wants me to be Idolistic
But I'm not one to be masochistic
So goodbye to this existence
I'll let my instincts go
Take my grievance to the distance
Until I can finally say . . .The phone answered.
Hello.
The conversation was less than pleasant, with Riff throwing threats and being generally disagreeable, a condition he found easier and easier as time went by within the walls of the castle. Magenta passed him on the phone and smiled, watching him. She continued on down the hall, seeming to sense the rhythm Riff had heard, as she began to add a few words of her own:
Waiting, skating on broken ice
With danger high, we roll the dice
Dreaming of the outcome
Scheming it in tandemRiff had since hung up and had followed her, hearing her voice. He liked the sound of the words and laughed along, singing again as he grabbed her in a close dance that swirled through the hallways:
Riff: He wants me to be Idolistic
The point is there- he's missed it.
So goodbye to this existence
I'll let my instincts go
To which Magenta joined in:Take our grievance to the distance
Until we can finally say . . .They had danced their way back to the door just as Frank swung it open again. Glaring at the two of them as they stood there in an embrace of a dance, apparently looking happy, and what's worse . . . it had nothing to do with him.
The pair released one another and returned to their somewhat solemn looks, offering a simple
Hello.
Frank spoke as if he had been interrupted, and if he had acknolwedged their greeting, he hadn't made any sign of it. "Riff Raff, Magenta. I'd like you to meet . . . Columbia." A great toothy grin overtook his face as he stepped to the side, bringing the girl behind him into full view. She was an odd sort, and she was watching Frank, threatening to drool over him.
Riff's nose wrinkled about halfway up the distance of his face at the girl. Magenta glanced over to him and back to Frank and Columbia, realizing he awaited some form of welcome to his new "interest". A supercilious smile crept over her face. "Welcome."
"Yes....." Riff added quickly, seeing the expression that Frank was busy boring into his skull. "Welcome."
"Well." Frank said with the same tooth-filled grin. "I'm sure the two of you have more than enough to do, so I'll show Columbia around." He took her by the hand, and quicker than one could say 'transvestite', he was off.
Riff slammed the door shut and turned, his eyes burning as they followed Frank down the hall. Magenta simply slipped her hand into his and led him away.
The party, as it was, was to herald the arrival of a creation. A man, brought to life through scientific skill. Frank was quite prepared to take the credit for such, but it had been Riff in the laboratory day in and out, with Frank merely barking suggestions as to how he could do better.
And it was Riff there now, Magenta at his side as he toyed with the various buttons and knobs that lined the transducer on the wall near the tank that held the creature. Blond, as Frank had specified, and muscular.
Well hung as well, of course.
Riff watched the tank as he manipulated the control panels. There was still no sign that life could be created. No matter what calculations he entered, the result was the same. Dead, lifeless flesh with no possibility of incarnation. He worked on the problem all the same, using an entire pad of paper until he was forced to scribble on the wall nearby. No harm in that, he thought to himself, noting that Frank had already managed to scribble a note for the newcomer there before he'd arrived. Showing off "his" work, no doubt.
"The fool hasn't a brain in his head" he grumbled, then stopped- eyes wide.
"Hmm?" Asked Magenta, looking up from her magazine. "Did you say something?"
"A brain!" he exclaimed. "That's the problem!" and with that, he began to scribble again, this time with fervor until a wild grin crept over his face. "All we need is HALF a living brain. Just half will do it- it will stimulate the other. But where?" he looked at Magenta just as the doorbell rang.
"I think Fate has come to call" Magenta drawled with a slow smile. "Shall I get it?"
"No. Let . . . me." Riff bounded to the elevator and into the foyer, opening the door to see who stood in wait. He took a moment to look the person over- a greaser he seemed- at least that's what he thought they were called, earth lingo wasn't his strong suit. " . . . Hello" he managed after a moment of silence
"Hi." came the reply as he shifted his weight to the other booted foot "I've got a . . . package here for ya."
"Come inside." Riff said, sweeping his hand behind him in greeting.
"Well what have we here!" exclaimed Frank, stopping to look Eddie over and not hesitating to grab the brown paper package he held.
"Master . . . " started Riff, edging him away. He continued in hushed tones, his eyes darting between Columbia, who was now dressed in a shiny sequined ensemble, and the delivery boy at the door. "We need a living brain specimen for our . . . experiment." his gaze shifted to Eddie again.
"What?? Oh no. No no no. I haven't even said hello yet!" and Frank grinned.
"Eddie!" Columbia squealed and ran for him.
"Baby!" came Eddie's reply, and he went for her, meeting her in a hug and kiss.
Frank lifted a fine brow as he watched this, and turned back to Riff. "Forget what I said. Take what you need." And with that, he huffed off to sample his delivery in peace.