One of the most useful tools I've encountered is site stats. And I'm incredibly lucky in that Shawn has been nice enough to set some up for me. On it, I can see the browser most used, the pages most often visited, etc. I can also see where people are coming from, the searches they input on search engines, and how I ranked in those engines.

It's dead helpful to know, as an example, if you search on Google for the Crystal Maze, as one person did- I come up 11th in the engine's rankings.

There are searches, however, that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the site. I find them incresingly humourous as time passes, so I thought I'd share some of the funnier ones with you.

-Q

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Search: "how kid can invent something"
Engine: MSN
Referring Page: The Tooth of Crime
Ranking Status: 8th
Nothing against Sam Shepard, but I really doubt this young inventor was looking for information on fringe rock musicals.

Search: "chew and screw fuck"
Engine: MSN
Referring Page: What else, of course- The Dick of Death lyrics
Ranking Status: 2nd
Chew and screw fuck? I'm so pleased I came up for this one . . .

Search: "REMOTE CONTROL PANTIES"
Engine: MSN
Referring Page: Rocky Horror Interactive hints
Ranking Status: 6th
So "remote control" and "panties" DO appear on the page . . . but really . . .

Search: "Gay men in tights"
Engine: MSN
Referring Page: A few words of wisdom
Ranking Status: 19th
Nothing wrong with gay men in tights afterall. I'm just glad I can provide the service.

Search: "Tits of steel"
Engine: MSN
Referring Page: Man of Steel- lyrics
Ranking Status: 5th
Who in the hell would want tits of steel anyway? Even at my non-existant state of having them they're a pain in the ass.

Search: "Liberate tvmail"
Engine: Google
Referring Page: 60-second interview
Ranking Status: 2nd- of two total.
This one is actually because of a mistake on my part. I was e-mailed an interview by AnneMarie in the UK, a fan of Richard's and a member of the RO'B TightCircle (shameless plug, join today!) and quite by mistake, the mail info was still at the bottom of the interview. A-whooooooopsie. Anyway, it's since been fixed. :)

Search: "Bitchy comebacks"
Engine: Yahoo!
Referring Page: Richard O'Brien and Lionel Bart: How we met
Ranking Status: 3rd
Well it's in the page. I'd think of a bitchy comeback to retort with, but why bother when you already rank 3rd in "bitchy comeback" searches?

Search: "(Peter Rabbit) (Tank Killer)"
Engine: Google
Referring Page: The Bookworm transcript
Ranking Status: 1st
This is a perfect example of why I'm putting this page up. If you search for Richard O'Brien, I come up about 8. However, if you're looking for information about killing tanks and Peter Rabbit- have I got the page for you.

Search: "cut her arms off"
Engine: Google
Referring Page: One God-One Farinelli
Ranking Status: 20th
Makes you wonder about people, doesn't it?

Search: "angora ecstasy"
Engine: Yahoo!
Referring Page: Disgracefully Yours Transcript, page 2
Ranking Status: 12th
It seems Ed Wood is alive and well. And using Yahoo!

Search: "Snoop Dog Lyrics"
Engine: GoTo
Referring Page: The Ink Thief Songs
Ranking Status: 12th
Well, Richard DID do a quick "rap" in the series. I guess it counts. ROBDogg in the muthafuckin' hazaus, y'all.

Search: "Swap parties"
Engine: GoTo
Referring Page: The Wit and Wisdom of Reckless Rick
Ranking Status: 29th
We have it all here at the Crusade. Remote controlled panties and swap parties. I'm such a smut peddler.

Searches: sex + fat + cows + fucking , animated picture of amoeba eating
Engine: Google
Referring Page: Mephistopheles Smith, part 5
Ranking Status: 6th , 8th
Well all the words ARE there. Just not in the exact order. Or context, thank God.