(dec. 10, 2000)

Dungeons and Dragons was Courtney Solomon's first film. It shows.

I was expecting the scenery, and I got it. I got fantastical landscapes and breathtaking creatures in the dragons, orcs and other assorted favorites of mine in fantasy. Unfortunately, I also got the script. Which was poorly written, trite, and in many places downright confusing.

On top of this, I also got bad acting. Not that I could really expect actors to do better with what they had- their job is to follow the director's instructions and recite the words written for them. So I don't blame them entirely, but it's saddening to see that one of the few actors who was halfway believable was Marlon Wayans, whose signature style humor has no place, in my opinion, in a world of fantasy.

Jeremy Irons hit an all time low in his career in this film- constantly spewing out his lines in a pitiful attempt at powerlust and rage, Lee Arenberg's dwarf was pointless . . .

Question: You are faced with numerous enemies and you have a big, sharp battle axe. Do you a) slice them in two -or- b) bitch slap them with the side of the axe.

Apparently, if you're this dwarf you choose b.

Kristen Wilson as the tracker elf Norda wins the award for supplying the film with the most fantasy cliches of any character. "This task . . . is for them to finish."

A close second is taken by Tom Baker, (Doctor Who) who played the King of the Elves, as he went on a long babble about magic and dragons and the balance of things. Yes, it did clear up a bit of plot, but it was detached and came out of nowhere. It was as if the elf, in his wisdom and magical ability could see the plot was not yet clear and thought he would try to help.

And maybe I haven't played D&D enough, maybe I'm out fo the loop . . . but the ending of this film makes absolutely no sense to me. It's my understanding that the film was directly based on the TSR game of the same name, and I noticed many things straight from player manuals and game modules. And I'm still confused.

As usual I enjoyed Richard . . . but as my compadre' Kev once noted, he could make a video of him sleeping for four hours and I'd watch it at least twice without fast-forwarding. Still, he was enjoyable and was another of the few actors I mentioned before who seemed to make something of his character.