I'm not 100% sure about anything, it's easy to hear the wrong thing. So if you think (or know) I'm wrong on the words below, drop me an email and let me know. An * beside a song denotes that it was taken directly from the Program, and therefore, just about as right as we're going to get it. ;-)

And the Thank You Section: Ruth Fink-Winter, and Marcus and Sean from the new location of the Rocko site.

I've also attempted (when my personal arsenal of odd knowledge allows) to set up a little reference/definition page for the -common- occasion when Richard tends to go a wee teeny-tiny bit over our heads ;-) So for those of us who read something and go "what the hell does THAT mean?!?!?" or if you're just as crazy as I am and want to know all the specifics to better understand, just click on the Hypertext as it comes along. I've selected a lot of things for definitions and am not intending to say that no one knows what they may be, but I'm sure there are some who aren't sure of some of the words and concepts herein presented.

Enjoy!
Q

 (voice-over)Mephistopheles- Now that Hell is a groovy and happening place, it is my fervent wish that you should spread the good news to the four corners of the Earth.
And lo, it came to pass that Mephistopheles did send forth a band of Black Angels to truly blow it up. [Restore!]

Song-Must Be Mephistopheles Smith *

(performed by the Frockettes)


Who's that angel born in hell
That everybody knows so well
Who makes you stammer with their infernal glamour
Who's got a name that's hard to spell
Who affects the way you feel
The patron saint of sex appeal
Who makes you clamor for the eternal slammer
Who has the legs to make you squeal
Who owns the soul of a Rock 'n' Roll riff?
Why it's very very possibly Mephistopheles Smith

chorus

Who comes in the night and gets you dreaming steaming screaming
Who loves to scare you stiff
Demon of the night
Demon of delight
Must be Mephistopheles Smith

Who's everybody's fantasy
Who's everybody's man to see
Who's that slick looker the philosophic hooker
Who always gives a damn for free
Who taught them sport in paradise
Who was the author of our vice
Who stopped us slinking and went and got us thinking
Who's sort of naughty sort of nice
Who is the fact of an actual myth
Why it's very very possibly Mephistopheles Smith

repeat chorus

Mephistopheles: Hi! I sure as Hell am! Mm. Let's take a look. Wow.
[Drool, drool] I'm here to give you some cool and groovy advice. That's
right.

Song-Welcome to One Hell of a Party

When your luck is up
You better come on down
When the heat's turned up
Well the beat stays down
Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party

It's gonna be alright
There's always plenty left
Cause the right isn't right
When right is left -that's sinister.
Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party

Here's what you're gonna do-
Don't wear a frown there
A crown don't cut no ice
Just come on down there
Oooh! The vice is nice
You get it right
Baby you've got it made
You'll see a better night night
Well I just got paid

We're gonna be abrupt
We're holding nothing back
But if you want abrupt
Lay out in back.

Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party

The way your toes turn up
I'm gonna put them down
I'm gonna pick you up
You can count on down

Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party
Welcome to one Hell of a Party!

Mephistopheles-Whooo! Whooo! Whooo! And even one more-
Whooo! Dearly beloved, sweet angels, brothers and sisters,
intelligent and attractive protoplasm, potential customers.
Oh yes. I bring unto you a message of sweetest joy.
Not "swedish joy", that'd be a contradiction in terms. Sweetest
joy! Yes I've been made flesh. And I'm here to give you a real
hot tip. Which I want you to sit on for a while until the enormity
of it finally sinks in. Yes. It's gonna be that kind of an evening.
I bring unto you a new word. A blessed word, a word you've
heard. A word to voice, rejoice rejoice. The word is "choice".
Yes I'm the Evangelist for a new and vastly improved Hell.
Nominated, seconded and approved of by Lucifer himself.
No shit, I'm official. My name, for those of you who can't read
programs is Smith, Mephistopheles Smith, Smith because it
affords me a bit of street credibility in showbiz everywhere, and
Mephistopheles because- well- that's my name.

Not that I'm sad to tell you that it's caught on with
adventurous parents looking for something a little different for
their offspring, would've thought Cher or  Paula Yates would have
seen the possibilities but no- So!
Greek Classicists, Ca-la-cisists amongst you, will know that it's
Greek and that it freely translates as "the shutter of light".

Yeah sure. Me and ZsaZsa Gabor.

That's what you call a misnomer of paramount proportions, isn't it.
But misnomer or not, I like my name, and like sweet sweet
sister Zsa Zsa, I have absolutely no intention of stepping
out of the spotlight. After all . . .

Song-Ain't That To Die For

Why should I even try
To leave the light and die?
It's so warm in your embrace
I like it when I'm in your face
Ain't that to cry for
Ain't that to- die for.

When someone hits the spot
Then they are not forgot
Especially when someone
Shines brighter than the morning sun
Ain't that to cry for
Ain't that to die for.

Some people they say
They don't wanna come out
Some people say
That's what they're all about
But the quick of us
Pick Icarus to be a stinker of a pilot
But anyone that near the sun
Ain't no shrinking violet
Ain't that to die for.

Sing the song, children-

(ain't that to die for)

Ain't that to die for

So let that lovelight blaze
Engage the gaze of praise
Girl, if you don't have no voice,
Then baby, you don't have no choice
Ain't that to cry for
Ain't that to die for.

Mephistopheles-Potential customers- as we approach the millennium, and homo-continually-erectus struggles to maintain an upright
position, fear and disillusionment has given birth to more and more
breakaway groups of ever-increasing bullshit varieties. Caused also
many others to leap into the repressive and retro-gressive embrace
of Holy laws written for another time, another place. And people
without your delicious intelligence and creative imaginations.

Time for change.

Now we, the denizens of Hell, we've seen it coming for quite
some time. Now we thought therefore it's time for us to re-assess our
own role in the grand scheme of things. And renew our old agenda.
Yeah, that's right. You're looking at an Agenda Bender.

Hell is now operating in direct competition with Heaven, oh yes.
They've still got a good place in the afterlife facilities marketplace,
they're still doing ok, believe in that. But they got it all wrong,
they got sloppy, and we caught them with their pants down, and that's
not a pretty sight.

Hell is now no longer a -repository- if you like- for Heaven's rejects.
Well, in the beginning it was fun, and the others, the people who came our way, they did so against their wishes, and so therefore giving them a hard time was a great pleasure! And then along came Freud and we started to
get the kind of people who thought they deserved to be punished.
Where's the fucking fun in that?? 

So, with that in mind, we cleared the decks!

Brother Michael/Frockettes- Got rid of all the rotten
things!

Mephistopheles- We've emptied the henhouse!

Brother Michael/Frockettes- Got rid of all the rotten hens.

Mephistopheles-All the assholes

Brother Michael/Frockettes- Lowlifes.

Mephistopheles- Deadbeats

Brother Michael/Frockettes- Psychos.

Mephistopheles- sickos, and lick-spittle anorexics. By this I mean . . .

Devil worshippers.

I blame H.P. Lovecraft and LSD, myself.

Well, we made it so easy for them, didn't we. They're Hell's
Trainspotters, aren't they, let's face it. All they had to do- All they
had to do was kill a cockerel, mutter 28 pages of arcane writings,
light some incense in a pagan design, uh, throw some bones,
shag a virgin and then make sure they stood VERY still right
in the middle of a pentagram. Well a child of THREE could do that.
Well a child of three on acid, anyway.

Oh yes, we were COMPELLED to put in an appearance, oh yes
we were . . . Sometimes it was great 'cause you would pop up and
they'd go "oh hey yeah, a demon, let's party!" You'd go, "yeah, sure.
You want some of this? Oh, and by the way, Cedric. You're out of the
Pentagram. Oh, too late! Now let's make this a really bad fucking trip,
shall we?" I see a lot of fat Canadians, I don't know why . . .

I had one once say "Oh wow, a demon! Fill me with your demon
seed, I wanna have your baby." I said "But you're a man!" He said
"Well I don't care. I wanna be the mother of Damien."

Now can you believe that? This is the kind of people we're
dealing with. This guy thought I was going to allow a fat,
Canadian Devil Worshipper to become the mother of my child???
I nearly told him where to get off! And then I said, "No . . . I'll tell
him later". I had to admire the way he kept his head, though, he-
he attempted to turn around to me, which was difficult because
I'd jammed his head under the television set, and he said
"I'm not really gay, you know", and I said "that's ok, neither am I."

So if they're thick, sick, hick, anorexic or lunatic, WE don't want
them, in fact we haven't GOT them, they were caaaaaast out.
They're on their own, and fuck 'em.

They've all been released back into the community. A little
like yourselves. Yes we saw that great benevolent idea for
exactly what it was and we went, "yeah, we'll have some of that"
and thank you, major governments everywhere.

Of course their re-entry into your so-called living world has probably
had a compounding effect upon your own social and moral decay,
but if you're waiting for someone to say sorry, forget it- noone
apologized to us when they sent us the scum of the Earth in
the first place, did they.

So! That's it! We've now got Hell the way we like it and we intend
to keep it that way, we got rid of the shits, kept the wits. Got rid
of the lip, kept the hip. Now welcome to Club Inferno PLC-
Perfectly Lo Cated, the party place for people who want to party-
forever. So that's my mission, my goal, if you like- to give you the
downside of going up, and the upside of going down.

This is going to be easy and fun, believe me.

Now some of you may be saying "Now wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait wait. Just stop. Just stop right there for  a second,
deliciously diabolical one! Why should we believe a single word that
you, a Hell-Spawned demon has to say, for it is written, is it not, that
Satan is the Father of Lies, forever attempting to sweet talk his
way into the hearts and minds of the weak, and the easily laid."

Well I do have to say that does sound a little like him. You do
have a point. Certainly sounds like the way he used to be, anyway,
but he's changed. We've all changed. He's a sweetie. I don't mean to
trivialize him, but he's a sweetie. Now some of you may continue to be
a little wary, you may consider our change of direction to be little
more than a sham, a cynical ploy, and you've made your minds
up about us, and we've been found guilty before we've even been
brought to trial. But I'm afraid- that sounds a little like prejudice
to me, and you shouldn't listen to your prejudice, you should
listen to your heartbeat.

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