Mephistopheles- Yes, it's up to you, thank you for those sweet sentiments, sweet angels of song.

Indeed, it's up to you because 'Choice'. Choice, you've got it. Now the other afterlife facility competition pretend that they would like you to be free to exercise it as well.

Yeah, sure. As long as you- make it them.

We on the other hand, we couldn't give a shit.

I mean, we may very well be your choice, but will you be ours? What kind of a person are you? Are you mean-spirited? Do you derive great pleasure from hurting others for no good reason whatsoever? As a small child, did you tear the wings off flies?

Are you a theatre critic?

If so, can you change? We've changed, can you? Yes, we all know that
you can pretend to be nicer than that which you are, you can pretend to be a nice guy, Mr. Nice Guy, just as you can disguise an ill-formed body
with a well-cut suit, but we still know the shape and form remains beneath the tailor's art. Oh yes, they're donning new spiritual focks, frocks even.

Cuts no ice with us.

It's not putting things on, it's taking things off. You have to do what all
the major airlines do; you have to lose the baggage.

Then you just might get lucky. You might get lucky tonight. Do you feel
lucky? Well, do ya, huh? There is a question waiting to be asked;
Ask the question, sweet angels.

(Frockettes sing a gospel-esque segment- Preacher intones
by Mephistopheles)

Frockettes- Is the good news delivery boy knocking on your front door?

Mephistopheles- If not, why not? You can improve your chances.

Frockettes- How?

Mephistopheles- Why, you have to let Sister Joy into your life.

Frockettes- Sweet Sister Joy

Mephistopheles- That's right. Sweet Sister Joy, for it is written:

Frockettes- God knows where

Mephistopheles- That He who loses his own negative baggage,  also lightens the load of Sister Joy. We're gonna lift up our hearts and sing a hymn of sweetest joy to that most blessed of sisters, Sweet Sister joy herself.

Slap me some skin, Brother Ed.

(drum intro)

Mephistopheles and Frockettes- Joy (7x)

Yes indeed, you should sing that yourselves every morning when you get
out of bed. Scares the shit out of the neighbors. And why should you let
Sister Joy into your life? Well I'll tell ya.

Because eternity is a fucking long time. What is it?

Frockettes- A fucking long time

Mephistopheles- You can say that again.

Frockettes- A fucking long time!

Mephistopheles- Damn right! Too long to be spent hanging around with nice people.

Frockettes- With no personality

Mephistopheles- Tub-thumping, Bar-room bigots and space cadets. You have to fight for your rights. We did, and speaking of rights- Now that we're a public limited company, we will be calling back all those copyrights, which others have seen to be public domain. Oh yes. We will for instance be asking the Hell's Angels for an annual fee for the use of that particular trademark. Obviously, we're gonna  be asking them nicely.

We're already owed a lot of money, very big money, heavy money, from
some very heavy metal thrash bands for the use of our B.A.D. or "bad
rights". Backward playing Audio Directives tuning. "Crrk . . Satan Rules
Crrrk . . . Satan Rules . . . Crrk" Obviously we'll be charging them for
that one.

Yeah, well the beat goes on. But if it sounds like the suits are taking
over, don't panic, because  anyone, as far as we're concerned  from
middle-management is a persona non-starter.

There are no deals, you don't have to sell your souls to Hell anymore,
we don't want your souls, your bodies, maybe, yes.

You don't even have to worship the Devil and all his works anymore,
he's had enough of that and you'll piss him off.

We did use to do deals once upon a time, but it was a fuck-up.

Even in winning, we would lose. It's true. This is what's known as a 'Pillock Victory'. I'll tell you what we used to do; we used to give them wealth, knowledge, power, consumer goodies and all that kind of stuff, and they would give us their weeping and wailing and gnashing of fucking teeth for eternity.

Does that sound like a good deal to you?? I don't think so.

Stardom- that was another thing people would crave, would-be dealmakers. Make me a star, make me a star, give me a personality.
Actually, there's a great game you can play, it's called "Let's fuck the
sad old farts" we pulled the plug on 'em when we re-structured. Careers that were hot and now they're not, and you wondered why, well wonder no more.

Oh yes. You'd be surprised at how low a price some people are prepared to put on their souls. Thirty pieces of silver was an absolute fortune compared to say; having sex with David Mellor.Yes, we were doing deals as recently as that. Happily for you, and for me, the deals are for both of them. Some people of course didn't want wealth, they didn't want money, they didn't want any of the things I just mentioned; some of them simply wanted a little more time.

(sings) Give me just a little more time.

Yeah, let me tell you about a little lady. Goes by the name of Tulip Baker, that's what she wanted. She was a dishy little dame.

Let me clue you in.

Song- Tulip Baker

Well I knew a girl called Tulip Baker
Went out on a date with an undertaker,
He took her out and he tried to make her
Show him where it's at

The undertaker's name was Max Detato,
He had a face like a baked potato,
He tried to take her without her say-so,
But Tulip was too hip for him.

She said gimme some time
I'm too young and too pretty
To cut me down in my prime
There's too much in the city

Now Tulip had a mother who was living in Cairo
Who runs around in a leaky bayou
Til she heard about old detato
And she [went to him]

That's when she heard the cry of Tulip
Old Max was looking for a girl with true lip
He tried to make her into his little Julep
But Tulip was too hip for him.

She said gimme some time
I'm too young and pretty
To cut me down in my prime
There's too much in the city

[Now the undertaker's still making his calls]
[Sometimes the pass, sometimes the doorways]
And though he is fast, you know there is no way
Tulip will let him get in

She lived in the country til 105
And just cause you're old doesn't mean you're alive
The undertaker said now it's time to die,
But Tulip was too hip for him.

She said gimme some time
I'm too young and pretty
To cut me down in my prime
There's too much in the city

She said gimme some time
I'm too young and pretty
To cut me down in my prime
There's too much in the city

Mephistopheles- Whoo! Uh-oh, I'm losing a horn. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Always at the wrong time.

You've been there.

OK! So! No more deals, eh?

Thank God!!

Uh-whoops! Ah, don't worry, don't worry. I've got a great deal of respect for all the Gods, and Goddesses; demi, semi or otherwise. Oh yes indeed.

Odin, for instance. Take Odin- brother Odin? The honor of Valhalla.
I mean, he's a rough diamond, but forever a gent. And you remember the
jackal-headed God of Egypt, Anubis? Well you throw him a stick, and
he'll play with you for days.

Cupid's cute if you like that kind of a thing, and of course, Priapus, well
he's still a firm favorite, isn't he. I've knelt before him a few times myself.
Yeah, but for the most part, they've been pushed to one side and completely forgotten and completely unloved. Poor old sods, eh.

Yes this is what we call the God slot, or the G-spot- seek and ye shall
find- but I have to say that in regard to your own kind of relationship
with the Gods, demi semi pagan, civilized, whatever; it will affect
your standing with Club Inferno in no way whatsoever should you choose
to worship none at all, one personal one, or as many as you like.

But if you're gonna go in that direction, you should think about adding
demons to your list of likely candidates. Thin and horny ones are very
groovy. Especially when he's the head of the membership application
committee.

But if you do decide to go Godward, in any direction; embrace, you
have to remember that you should never go into worship mode, with your eyes closed. If you're gonna blow it, know it.

It's the physical panty rule that applies here; the bottom line?

Which is to remember- that a god isn't just for Christmas; we're not talking about the tooth fairy here, are we. They got big, big, egos amigos, and so you should be absolutely certain that you never, under any, any circumstances whatsoever, make promises that you- cannot keep.

Song- Heart on Fire

(Not to a power higher)
Oh no.
(The power with its Heart on Fire)
Yeah Yeah.
(You don't have to promise to deliver)
But once you do there's a question or two.

(Who are you to lie to a God)
With its heart on fire.
Why would you choose to lie when you find
What your hearts desire

Oh, you're gonna burn
You take a turn for the worse
And what will be underneath
Unless your heart's a liar.

Oh, my heart's on fire. (2x)

(sax interlude)

(Who are you to lie to a God)
With your heart's desire
[(?)]
As your heart's conspired.

Oh, you're gonna burn
You take a turn for the worse
And what should be
We're talking superheat
Unless your heart's a liar.

Oh, my heart's on fire (2x)

(sax interlude)

Oh, my heart's on fire (4x)

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