THE   CLUB   INFERNO   plc

Dearly Beloved
Potential Customers,

It's official, HELL is now an absolute HEAVEN. In fact, we're so good that we recently awarded ourselves a LUCY which is of course the OSCAR of the AFTER LIFE FACILITIES MARKET.

You may say that awards within an industry are meaningless, even more so when they are devised and awarded to oneself; we don't agree. We think it only right to pat ourselves on the back. We have after all moved from a completely negative position whereby we were forced to accept any and all lowlife, to the present cool and groovy state of affairs.

We haven't simply papered over the cracks, we have completely revamped the whole works. No more eternal torment for you or us, we are now THE PARTY PLACE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO PARTY FOREVER. We have torn up the Theological rule book and opted for parity with all the other A.L.F.s.

Read for yourself some of the testimonial praise that we have received from truly satisfied customers.

DAMNED GOOD
Oscar Wilde
DAMNED RIGHT
Aubrey Beardsley
DITTO
Errol Flynn
COME DOWN AND SEE ME SOMETIME
Mae West
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY LEAR
Sir Robert Stephens
OH REALLY?
William Shakespeare
CHAMPAGNE? LOVELY.
Francis Bacon
OH YEAH
Keith Moon
I CONCUR
Viv Stanshall

Heavy Duty endorsements as you can see.

If you think that the CLUB INFERNO PLC sounds like the right after life experience for you, then it could be that you're the right person for us.

So, think it over, and should you decide to make us your first post-life choice, you will find a friendly and helpful assessment staff just waiting to give you the once over.

FRIENDLY WARNING:

It's a one in a million chance that you'll be selected as we have a very strict door policy and remember, the bouncers really are from Hell. So be warned, we may be your choice but you may not be ours.

EXCLUSIVE? BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

Why don't you get yourself a death?

Disgracefully yours and may you all ROCK IN HELL,

MEPHISTOPHELES SMITH

HEAD HONCHO OF THE MEMBERSHIP SELECTION COMMITTEE